Midnight confessions of IT/BPO/KPO managers

Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.

Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.

I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.

The phone rang at 6 am in the morning. Early in the morning or night means it could only be Sudhir Agarwal from Aegis BPO. Sudhir is a real nice guy. He does Puja at 10 pm and then goes to bed. Up at 5 am and starts the day with an hour long Puja.

This ring tone was that I had selected for Sudhir.

“Om Namoo Shiva ..”


As readers of my blog will know, Sudhir Agarwal has the moral DNA and values of Narayana Murthy and the calm temperament of Sachin Tendulkar. In the Aegis offices, he is known as the ‘Peace maker’ – a man who never loses his temper and is a calming, soothing influence on junior staff. Some swear, they have seen a halo around his head. One Team Leader tells friends that Sudhir told her that he shuns money and power and given a choice would rather serve the poor and homeless in California.

Sudhir Agarwal: Namaste, Sister Techgirl.
Techgirl: (Yawn) Good morning. What’s up Sudhir? Why are you calling at 6 am. You know I never get up before 9 am. And please don’t call me Sister.

Sudhir Agarwal: Okay sister. Will stop calling you sister. I just have this sweet habit of calling most women sisters.
Techgirl: What’s happening Sudhir?

Sudhir Agarwal: I had just done a Havan last night and a Surya Namaskar this morning and so feel pure enough to discuss this filthy topic
Techgirl: What happened Man?

Sudhir Agarwal: On Wednesday, July 2, I was chewing a Banarasi paan and walking near Delhi High Court when I saw the saddest looking Indians on the pavement. They had colorful flags and clothes but they were tense. They were sad and fearful. My heart went out to them.
Techgirl: Who were they? What did you do?

Sudhir Agarwal: As you know, I am known as the ‘Peace maker’ at Aegis. Wherever I see sad, tense and fearful people, I want to help. Sometimes, only a loving hug and a kind word is enough. So, I walked up to this group of young men and women and started hugging them and whispering in their ears: “Everything will be all right. Leave it to biggest CEO ie. God. If there is anything I can do to help, just let me know. If you want a job, Aegis is looking for outbound Agents”.
Techgirl: That is so sweet. You are so innocent. Just going and hugging people you have just met. What happened then?

Sudhir Agarwal: One of the girls asked me which LGBT organization I was a member of.
Techgirl: What did you say?

Sudhir Agarwal: I told her: “Sister, is LGBT an IT company or BPO. Is it a member of NASSCOM”. The girl looked at me as if not understanding. She just said: “Only if all men were as nice as you”.
Techgirl: Sudhir, Do you know that LGBT stands for Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender?

Sudhir Agarwal: Chee, chee, chee. Actually, I did not. But I soon realized something was not quite right.
Techgirl: How? Why?

Sudhir Agarwal: After I had finished giving a friendly brotherly hug to all the girls outside the Delhi High Court, I started doing the same with all the men. You know me, I see people as human beings not men or women.
Techgirl: You started hugging all the gay men outside the Delhi High Court!!!!

Sudhir Agarwal: It was just an innocent hug. But I knew something was wrong when the men lingered their hug and would not let go. I was confused and scared. Was my friendly hug being misconstrued? Within minutes, someone ran out from the Court saying the Judges have repealed Section 377 which criminalized homosexuality. Suddenly all the tense faces broke into smiles. They started shouting: “We are queer and proud”. Then I realized for the first time that India also had gay people. It was a shock.
Techgirl: What did you do?

Sudhir Agarwal: I just stood there is shock. From nowhere, media people appeared clicking photographs of the people assembled outside the Delhi High Court. Still in a daze at seeing gay people for the first time in my life, I spat out my Banarasi paan and held my Kolhapur chappals in hand and ran for a three wheeler to take me back to the safety of the Aegis Offices.
Techgirl: It’s okay. Half my friends are gay. There are just like you and me.

Sudhir Agarwal: Hmm. Sister, not everyone can be as liberal as you. But I am certainly a wiser person now. For the first time I understood what I was really seeing when I first saw a few men from NASSCOM holding hands while going into their hotel rooms. Now, I know why so many men are on top at many IT companies. I am praying for everyone. God is an ocean of forgiveness. I did a havan yesterday and a few more pujas should cleanse India.
Techgirl: Sudhir, got to go. Another call on my line.

(I picked up my landline.)

Pramod Bhasin: (Yippee) I am King of the world. Am I good or what?
Techgirl: Hi Pramod, what’s up?

Pramod Bhasin: You known that I am the best strategist in the world. Because of my ability to think ahead, Genpact is the No. 1 BPO in India. I am the ideas person while people like Raman Roy just implement my vision.
Techgirl: That’s true. You are the best. But Raman Roy is cool as well. People say without his steadying influence you would even be looking at starting BPO’s in Antarctica.

Pramod Bhasin: I have another brilliant idea. I will start GAYPACT.
Techgirl: What??. You mean Genpact?

Pramod Bhasin: No, I mean Gaypact. The Delhi Court has just decriminalized homosexual sex. But it will take the public another 5 years to accept them into the fold. So, I have a window of 5 years to harness the creative energies of this group of people. I am going to start GAYPACT BPO where you can only join if you are gay. I can already see all the American gay friendly companies lining up to gaysource to Gaypact. It is a win win situation. I am the King of the world.
Techgirl: Brilliant idea. Good night.

(P.S: The photo in this blog is stolen from the internet. Techgoss are cheapskates and do not pay me much. So, what do you expect?)

Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.

Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.

I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.

The phone rang. This ring tone was that I had selected for Pramod.

“Sare BPO’s se accha Genpact hamara, Ham Agent hai is ki, Ye Process hamara…”

Hearing the ring tone, my heart starting beating faster. Pramod has this effect on women

Pramod Bhasin: (curtly): What is a blog Techgirl?
Techgirl: A blog is a web diary. You can use your blog to write your personal opinions on anything in the world. Blogs are free, you don’t pay to start a blog on Google and Wordpress

Pramod Bhasin: I don’t understand. How can anything be free? I bumped into Narayana Murthy at a party and he said you were blogging about our personal conversations. What does this blog look like?
Techgirl: You can do a Google search and read about blogs. I am on Google blogger and you can see my blog there.

Pramod Bhasin: What is Google? I told you I have never used a computer in my life. Genpact COO Tiger Tyagarajan knows how to log on and check out a few sites. Tiger was saying something about Genpact male Agents productivity improving now that Savita Bhabhi website has been banned.
Techgirl: Pramod, I blog about all the big bosses who ring me in the night. Do you have a problem with that?

Pramod Bhasin: Not really. I don’t care. But the Genpact PR team was saying we should always ‘manage’ the news and give positive messages. Does my PR team read your blog?
Techgirl: I don’t think so. Otherwise they would have tried to bribe or threaten me.

Pramod Bhasin: Narayana Murthy was telling me you blogged that I hate Raman Roy in one of your posts.
Techgirl: Sure did. But you did tell me you dislike Raman Roy as much as Raj Thackeray hates anyone who is not from Maharashtra.

Pramod Bhasin: (with fake sincerity) Actually, I quite like Raman Roy. If fact, if there was a heterosexual version of ‘Dostana’ it could have been based on our lives. I could have played John and Raman could be Abhishek.
Techgirl: It is okay to hate people, Pramod. You are you. No one can change you. I would understand you’re jealously as Raman is soooo much more successful than you.

Pramod Bhasin: No one can be me. No one can change me. By the way did you see this disgusting piece of news about a Member of Parliament hitting a bank manager in Andhra Pradesh? It’s disgusting.
Techgirl: Yes, it is disgusting. The media is calling it an abuse of power.

Pramod Bhasin: I am disgusted at this abuse of the power by our newspapers. Why is the media making a mountain of a molehill? It is a media beat-up.
Techgirl: What, you are not defending the MP for slapping a bank manager. It is a crime and he could be jailed for slapping the manager. I want to slap the MP now.

Pramod Bhasin: What? Is hitting a junior person illegal? I did not know that.
Techgirl: Yes, it is a crime. Ask any policeman or lawyer.

Pramod Bhasin: In that case, I better ask my COO Tiger Tyagarajan to stop hitting his direct reports like the MP hit the bank manager. I did not know it was a crime. In Genpact, we call it ‘Physical constructive criticism’.
Techgirl: Pramod, you disgust me. No wonder Raman Roy left Genpact. He is too nice for such bully tactics.

Good night (Slams down the phone)

Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.

Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.

I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.

My phone rang. Even before I picked up the phone I was accosted by this sharp kick in the gut. The kind you get just before you get sacked. Who could it be giving me such negative vibes? It was Infosys HR boss, Mohandas Pai.

I especially did not want to talk to Mohandas Pai. My parent website techgoss had recently done a series of articles mocking Mohandas for shamelessly labeling 2100 juniors he had fired as ‘non performers’. Techgoss feels that Mr. Pai is equally to blame if his department is hiring so many non performers. And why humiliate young men and women you are sacking? After all, the buck stops with the boss.


Mohandas Pai: How is it going Techgirl?
Techgirl: (with some trepidation): How is it going Mohandas? How did you get my mobile number?

Mohandas Pai: Narayana Murthy gave it to me. He was saying you were giving me Ma Bhahan abuses when he rang you recently.
Techgirl: No, I did not abuse you. But I was wondering why you publicly labeled 2100 young men and women you sacked as ‘non performers’. Why hurt the confidence of youngsters?

Mohandas Pai: Techgirl, it is all a show. We have to show the market that we are always doing something. The market buys our shares and we get larger bonuses. Then there is an ego competition between the HR Managers of different tech companies on how many people we have sacked. Wins us more respect from our peers. It’s an ego thing. You will not understand.
Techgirl: So, you don’t mind if some people do abuse you.

Mohandas Pai: Not at all. We HR types have pretty think skins like crocodiles. You can write anything about us and it does not hurt. The only think that hurts us if we get reduced bonuses.
Techgirl: Nice to hear that the techgoss article abusing you has not made any difference. Indian tech needs more managers like you who can take positive criticism. Do tell me, of the 2100 people you sacked, how many were ‘non performers’?

Mohandas Pai: At least about 1000 were non performers. We had run out of work for the rest. Infosys is getting rid of anyone who is a non performer.
Techgirl: What about the Infosys culture of hiring the best and nurturing them to greatness.

Mohandas Pai: No place for non performers. We DO NOT tolerate any non performers.
Techgirl: (Taken aback at this screaming and wanting to change the topic) Okay, I get it. Let’s talk about something else. What is the real reason that Infosys co-founder and co-Chairman, Nandan Nilekani, has resigned your company to join the Government as Chairperson of the Unique Identification Authority of India (UIDAI)?

Mohandas Pai: The public thinks Nandan has resigned. But I have just told you that Infosys DOES NOT tolerate non performers.
Techgirl: You mean Nandan was not performing too well? I am shocked. Shocked.

Mohandas Pai: Nandan was clearly not performing. Infosys had hired so many young non performers who were publicly sacked and humiliated. We had to show the share market we are doing something. After all, the buck for all the sub standard hiring stopped with the boss and co-chairman – Nandan Nilekani.
Techgirl: But you are the HR boss.

Mohandas Pai: Nobody listens to me in Infosys. Nandan was taking all the decision including hiring entry level techies and Agents. I was only following orders.
Techgirl: Okay. Did Nandan go quietly?

Mohandas Pai: I told Nandan the same thing we tell all the youngsters we fire. You create a public scene and we will not give you a good reference and hold your full and final payment. He went quietly
Techgirl: Surely, Nandan would not have liked being ‘let go’?

Mohandas Pai: We were expecting problems and so had two security guards outside. But Nandan had a bemused look on his face during the exit meeting. He kept saying: “I will get a car with lights and commandoes which no one in the Tech industry has”.
Techgirl: Hmm, interesting. How did you get the name Mohandas?

Mohandas Pai: You dumb bitch. Is it not obvious? I have the same qualities of love, tolerance, forgiveness and nurturing young people like the Father of the nation – Mohandas Gandhi.
Techgirl: Have to go. Its not you, it is me. Good night. (Mental note: change mobile phone number)

Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.

Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.

I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.

My phone rang. Even before I picked up the phone I was enveloped in this calm, soothing feeling. I get the same feeling when I go temples and churches. Okay, sometimes, I get the same feeling at a pub as well after a few drinks.

Sure enough it was one of the great souls of the Indian tech industry – Chairman of the Board and Chief Mentor, Infosys, Narayana Murthy.

Narayana Murthy: Hello, Salee Techgirl
Techgirl: What a pleasant surprise to hear from you. But don’t you know that Salee in the wrong context is considered a bit offensive in North India.

Narayana Murthy: I know Techgirl. My north Indian friend Pramod Bhasin told me about Salee and few other galis that I can only use with men. He asked me to use this with all my direct reports.
Techgirl: But why talk like that? I must say that I am a bit shocked because you are meant to be the nicest person in the Indian IT industry.

Narayana Murthy: You don’t know the pressure of being Mr. Nice all the time. It is unbearable. Sometimes I wish I could be like Pramod Bhasin who says anything he wants to anyone. If I have offended you, I am sorry. I apologize. I am sorry. I am sorry. Forgive me. I am sorry ……
Techgirl: Don’t worry. My mom calls me worse. And my sister calls me a bitch. I was just a bit shocked because it came from your mouth. What did you want to talk about?

Nayarana Murthy: I just wanted to tell you that I know what Sheetal Mafatlal felt when she was arrested at Mumbai Airport for trying to smuggle in jewellery worth Rs. 1 crore by under declaring it.
Techgirl: Do you know her personally. Can you vouch for Sheetal’s integrity? If you make a public statement in her favour, even the customs will back down. People worship you as one of the moral voices in India

Narayana Murthy: No, no, no. What I meant is I know how Sheetal feels about under declaring something.
Techgirl: What did you have a similar problem? Did you under declare the value of one of Infosys’s overseas contracts?

Narayana Murthy: Yes, yes, yes. I had a similar experience. I landed at Chennai Airport and filled in the form saying I am one of the co-founders of Infosys. As you know, the current Co-Chairman Nandan Nilekani and 5 others co-founded Infosys with me.
Techgirl: Yup. The Infosys website clearly says 7 of you founded Infosys. That’s an accepted fact. You are the public face of Infosys but others have helped built it as well.

Narayana Murthy. Exactly. After I filled in the form that I was merely one of the co-founders of Infosys, the Chennai Customers office dragged me in. The next thing I know is I am strapped to the chair and a bright torch light is shining in my eyes.

The Customs Officer screamed at me: “You are a liar”. He was wearing a red badge which said: ‘My bahu works at the best tech company in the world - Infosys’

When I asked him to explain, the Customs Officer said: “You are guilty of under declaring on an official form. You are saying you are a co-founder but the fact is that you alone are responsible for the success of Infosys. All others are listed as co-founders on the Infosys website to reduce tax. It is a crime to under declare anything when you land in India”.

It took me 3 hours to explain to the Customs Officer that I was not under declaring and that Nandan Nilekani did more than eat samosas and drink chai. But the fact is that he did not do much. Nandan used to spend most of his free time writing fan email to Thomas Friedman.
Techgirl: Was it harrowing?

Narayana Murthy: Not really. I have negotiated with GE. If you have dealt with them, nothing can scare you.
Techgirl: Okay. Do you miss being the centre of attraction now that Nandan is the Co-Chairman of Infosys and running the day to day operations.

Naryana Murthy: I thought I was indifferent to praise and criticism. I thought it would make no difference if I was the CEO of Infosys or a token figure like ‘Mentor’. But I do miss the attention sometimes.

The days when I miss being centrestage are when I get these weird dreams. Yesterday, was one such day. In the night, I dreamt that I was Shahid Kapur in the Pioneer advertisement that was played during T20 and IPL TV broadcasts. The music starts and the young Infosys techies start screaming. I dance and all these Team Leaders and Projects Managers dance behind me.

This morning I felt so much better.
Techgirl: Good night. Have to watch my favourite TV program and so have to go.

Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.

Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.

I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.


The phone rang at 9 pm last night. Early in the night means it could only be Sudhir Agarwal from Aegis BPO. Sudhir is a real nice guy. He does Puja at 10 pm and then goes to bed. Up at 5 am and starts the day with an hour long Puja.

As readers of my blog will know, Sudhir Agarwal has the moral DNA and values of Narayana Murthy and the calm temperament of Sachin Tendulkar. In the Aegis offices, he is known as the ‘Peace maker’ – a man who never loses his temper and is a calming, soothing influence on junior staff. Some swear, they have seen a halo around his head. One Team Leader tells friends that Sudhir told her that he shuns money and power and given a choice would rather serve the poor and homeless in California.

Sudhir Agarwal: Namaste, Sister Techgirl.
Techgirl: Chill, man. No need to call me sister. I am your friend.

Sudhir Agarwal: Okay sister. Will stop calling you sister.
Techgirl: What’s happening Sudhir?

Sudhir Agarwal: I haven’t been able to sleep for a couple of days. Normally, after doing my Puja in the night, I have the same sense of peace like I do when I visit Vaishnodevi and some churches in Mumbai. I then read a few annual reports and go to sleep. But have been unable to sleep the last few nights.
Techgirl: Why? You are a simple, humble man. Usually, these people sleep like babies.

Sudhir Agarwal: After seeing all the reports about Bollywood actor Shiney Ahuja being arrested for rape, I cannot sleep. He is innocent. I just know it.
Techgirl: Why do you say that? The police will complete their investigations and then a Court of Law will decide his guilt or otherwise.

Sudhir Agarwal: I know he is innocent. It is a gut feeling. Shiney is INNOCENT.
Techgirl: I don’t understand. I have never heard you shout so please don’t get personally involved in the case. Much of it is media hype, you know.

Sudhir Agarwal: No man, especially Indian men, will ever misbehave with a woman. It is so anti-India and wrong. Shiney Ahuja could not have done it.
Techgirl: Let’s leave it for the police and courts to decide.

Sudhir Agarwal: I know in my heart that no Indian man will even flirt or misbehave with women. It is un-Indian and adharmic. You only have to look at men like Manmohan Singh and Abdul Kalam to see what good role models our society has.
Techgirl: Hmm, not sure about that. Just because you are a simple, nice person, it does not mean that all Indian men are you. What about that senior manager at Infosys who was sacked for harassing a woman in USA?

Sudhir Agarwal: Sister Techgirl, you are right. A few bad apples spoil the good name of all Indian men.
Techgirl: Not everyone is as innocent like you. You are one of a kind.. Yes, you really are. Everyone in Aegis says they have never worked for anyone like you.

Sudhir Agarwal: Sister Techgirl. Namaste and Shub Ratri. I will go and do a few bhajans before I go to sleep. Many God give peace and correct all the misguided men in this world. Bharat mata ki jai.

Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.

Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyman etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.

I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.

I know your first question will be why I have not posted anything in this blog for a few months. I owe you an explanation. It was because I was heartbroken. Regular readers of this blog will know I have a crush on Genpact boss and NASSCOM Chairman Pramod Bhasin. He never reciprocated my girlie crush in any shape or form, but he did ring me once in a while. Then Pramod Bhasin stopped ringing. A crushed Techgirl lost her will to live and to blog.

All that changed last night. While I was giving brushing my hair before getting to bed, the mobile phone rang. This ring tone was that I had selected for Pramod.

“Sare BPO’s se accha Genpact hamara, Ham Agent hai is ki, Ye Process hamara…”

Hearing the ring tone, my heart starting beating faster. Should I pick up the phone or ignore Pramod Bhasin? Should I have a short conversation or talk for a long time? Should I hurt Pramod Bhasin by praising his arch rival and co-father of the BPO industry and current Quattro boss, Raman Roy? My mind was moving fasher than Dhoni's management team selling him to sponsors.

Much against my better judgment, I answered my phone


Pramod Bhasin: Hi Techgirl, long time no talk. What is happening?

Techgirl (feigning nonchalance): Everything is well. Watching a lot of T20 cricket these days. How are things with you?

Pramod Bhasin: Not a very good year. Looks like most of my time will be spent in boring meetings. Productivity will fall and no one is sure what they are doing. In my offices, no one does anything but talk and talk. Nothing has and will be achieved this year. Future is looking very bleak.

Techgirl: I am sorry, I don’t understand. Your BPO Genpact has done well this year. Are you saying that this global economic recession has resulted in Indian BPO’s being paralyzed with fear.

Pramod Bhasin: Techgirl, you are so dumb, you will never get a job as an Agent in Genpact. Perhaps a Team Leader but never as an Agent as they do the real work. I was not talking about Genpact, I was speaking about NASSCOM.

I have recently become the Chairman of NASSCOM, and realized that they do nothing except have boring meetings. And everyone goes for junkets.

Techgirl: (Trying to make Pramod jealous). Pramod, did you see the recent IPL cricket games in South Africa?

Pramod Bhasin: Did I? I love cricket. I have 5 massive TV screens in my office. All five were tuned to IPL. If anyone knocked on my door, one button on my gold plated remote control ensured each of the 5 TV channels switched to news and money channels like BBC, Times and Network 18. As soon as the person left, it was back to watching cricket.

As you know, most Indian CEO’s do not do any real work.

Techgirl: Did you see your ex-colleague Raman Roy in the Dell advertisement during IPL. Many people say that Raman Roy is the real reason why Genpact succeeded. Raman has done so much better than you. He has made hundreds of crores by starting his own companies, while you have always stuck to Genpact like Pranab Mukerji to Congress. (I wanted to make Pramod jealous because he had not rung me for a long time. Pramod hates Raman Roy because Raman is not only a very successful man, he is also Mr. Nice. Pramod, on the other hand, has a temper).

Pramod Bhasin: (Voice going all testy): I do remember having a fleeting glance of Raman Roy starring in ads during IPL. But I thought it was for Dominoes Pizzas rather than Dell computers.

Techgirl (Quickly changing the topic): What do you think of the recent elections? And Rahul Gandhi refusing a Cabinet post in the new Manmohan Singh Government.

Pramod Bhasin: To tell you the truth, none of us could predict that Congress would be returned with such a huge majority. If you see the news interviews of all the IT and BPO CEO’s we always hummed and hawed and tried to sound intelligent, but had no idea who would form a Government.

I cannot understand why Rahul Gandhi refuses to be part of a team lead by an honest, brilliant leader with the Midas touch. This is not the first time Rahul has refused a once in a lifetime offer. Last year, he refused my offer to become an Agent at Genpact. I promised him that I would not give him a midnight process and a taxi would pick him up and drop him home. The taxi would be air conned unliked what is given to other Agents. But Rahul politely declined. I really don’t know what the boy wants to do in life. No discipline for this young generation. They always want to do their own thing.

I am a bit wary of politicians working in Genpact though. When Mayawati was in opposition, she needed funds and so moon lighted as a Team Leader in Genpact. Mayawati is a quite a fire cracker. First, she fought with the Genpact HR Department because she only wanted to recruit Dalits. I had to let her go due to her insistence that even as a Team Leader, she wanted to sit in our Board meetings. Naturally, I could not tell Mayawati that she was fired, but we politely told her that she was put on full pay and put on the virtual bench in our offices in Uttar Pradesh.

Techgirl: Good night, Pramod. Talk later