Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.
Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.
I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.
The phone rang. This ring tone was that I had selected for Pramod.
“Sare BPO’s se accha Genpact hamara, Ham Agent hai is ki, Ye Process hamara…”
Hearing the ring tone, I felt alive and perky. Pramod has this effect on women
Pramod Bhasin: Bitch.
Techgirl: I’m sorry Pramod. What have I done to offend you? I quite like you and would not do anything to piss you off.
Pramod: Sorry, I was just calling our office pet into my cabin. This dog lives in our office. As we are 24X7 there is always someone to look after it. How are you?
Techgirl: Okay. As you know it has been raining heavily in Mumbai. At home most of the days surfing the internet. Having lots of coffee. Chatting with friends.
Pramod Bhasin: Same with me. But that is what most Indian CEO’s do. I am a bit irritated with politicians. Especially Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dixit.
Techgirl: What happened? Sheila is a good Chief Minister. Delhiites have just given her another term.
Pramod Bhasin: Sheila is not bad. But she does not support the BPO industry.
Techgirl: Why do you say that? In India, even the communists support IT and BPO.
Pramod Bhasin: My COO Tiger has had some problems recruiting a good Team Leader for an outbound Insurance cold calling process at Genpact Gurgaon. So, he asked me for a recommendation. Tiger asks my advice at least 20 times every day. Then, I saw on the news that Delhi Metro Rail Corp Managing Director E. Sreedharan had resigned after a traffic accident. So, I thought I would offer him a Team Leaders job at Genpact.
Techgirl: Hmm, is that a good idea? What about money and status?
Pramod Bhasin: Genpact pays its Team Leaders salaries which would match the MD compensation of most Government organizations. And he would be working for me. That’s a big plus on his resume. But it all fell apart when we started negotiations.
Techgirl: What happened?
Pramod Bhasin: He was happy with salary and designation of Team Leader. I threw in a non-airconditioned cab pick up and drop off. But the problem was his email nickname and email. E. Sreedharan wanted to be known as ‘Sher Shreedharan’. Sher as in Lion.
Techgirl: Whets the problem? Most senior managers have some quirks. As you keep saying: “Pamper the egos of your star performers”.
Pramod Bhasin. The problem was with the Genpact COO Tiger Tyagarajan. Even though I have handpicked him, he got a bit jealous and insisted that no one could be called ‘Sher’ in Genpact. He felt that a Tiger and Lion could not co-exist in the same office. We argued, had coffee, debated, had coffee, shouted at each other, had coffee. No luck. Tiger did not want a Sher in his territory.
Techgirl: Then what happened?
Pamod Bhasin: I rang Metro Man Shreedharan the next morning to finalize the negotiations and then I hear Delhi Chief Minister has rejected his resignation. Can you imagine? Hurting the BPO industry for some stupid Commonwealth Games. I was furious.
Techgirl; Wow. What did you do?
Pramod Bhasin: I walked out of my offices. Had 3 Wills cigarettes. 5 cups of Barista coffee. This is what calms me down. Then I quietly walked back to my office, picked up the phone and rang Sheila Dixit. When she got on the line, I screamed at her: “Who do you think you are? Back off Sheila, back off Sheila”.
Techgirl: That is gutsy. What was her reaction?
Pramod Bhasin: For some reason, she should I was a journalist and kept saying: “Okay, Arnab, I will be on your show at 9 pm”. Before I lost my cool, I just said OK and ended the conversation.
Techgirl: So, this means you will never vote Congress?
Pramod Bhasin: I have only voted for one party in my life and that is CPM. Whenever I see Karat, it is like seeing a philosophical soul mate. A capitalist who is equally comfortable being a communist. A man who loves the challenge of being Top Dog and does not care if the CPM lives or dies.
Techgirl: Bye, Pramod (Whenever Pramod talks about politics he can ramble on for hours. So, a quick good night is best)
Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.
I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.
The phone rang. This ring tone was that I had selected for Pramod.
“Sare BPO’s se accha Genpact hamara, Ham Agent hai is ki, Ye Process hamara…”
Hearing the ring tone, I felt alive and perky. Pramod has this effect on women
Pramod Bhasin: Bitch.
Techgirl: I’m sorry Pramod. What have I done to offend you? I quite like you and would not do anything to piss you off.
Pramod: Sorry, I was just calling our office pet into my cabin. This dog lives in our office. As we are 24X7 there is always someone to look after it. How are you?
Techgirl: Okay. As you know it has been raining heavily in Mumbai. At home most of the days surfing the internet. Having lots of coffee. Chatting with friends.
Pramod Bhasin: Same with me. But that is what most Indian CEO’s do. I am a bit irritated with politicians. Especially Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dixit.
Techgirl: What happened? Sheila is a good Chief Minister. Delhiites have just given her another term.
Pramod Bhasin: Sheila is not bad. But she does not support the BPO industry.
Techgirl: Why do you say that? In India, even the communists support IT and BPO.
Pramod Bhasin: My COO Tiger has had some problems recruiting a good Team Leader for an outbound Insurance cold calling process at Genpact Gurgaon. So, he asked me for a recommendation. Tiger asks my advice at least 20 times every day. Then, I saw on the news that Delhi Metro Rail Corp Managing Director E. Sreedharan had resigned after a traffic accident. So, I thought I would offer him a Team Leaders job at Genpact.
Techgirl: Hmm, is that a good idea? What about money and status?
Pramod Bhasin: Genpact pays its Team Leaders salaries which would match the MD compensation of most Government organizations. And he would be working for me. That’s a big plus on his resume. But it all fell apart when we started negotiations.
Techgirl: What happened?
Pramod Bhasin: He was happy with salary and designation of Team Leader. I threw in a non-airconditioned cab pick up and drop off. But the problem was his email nickname and email. E. Sreedharan wanted to be known as ‘Sher Shreedharan’. Sher as in Lion.
Techgirl: Whets the problem? Most senior managers have some quirks. As you keep saying: “Pamper the egos of your star performers”.
Pramod Bhasin. The problem was with the Genpact COO Tiger Tyagarajan. Even though I have handpicked him, he got a bit jealous and insisted that no one could be called ‘Sher’ in Genpact. He felt that a Tiger and Lion could not co-exist in the same office. We argued, had coffee, debated, had coffee, shouted at each other, had coffee. No luck. Tiger did not want a Sher in his territory.
Techgirl: Then what happened?
Pamod Bhasin: I rang Metro Man Shreedharan the next morning to finalize the negotiations and then I hear Delhi Chief Minister has rejected his resignation. Can you imagine? Hurting the BPO industry for some stupid Commonwealth Games. I was furious.
Techgirl; Wow. What did you do?
Pramod Bhasin: I walked out of my offices. Had 3 Wills cigarettes. 5 cups of Barista coffee. This is what calms me down. Then I quietly walked back to my office, picked up the phone and rang Sheila Dixit. When she got on the line, I screamed at her: “Who do you think you are? Back off Sheila, back off Sheila”.
Techgirl: That is gutsy. What was her reaction?
Pramod Bhasin: For some reason, she should I was a journalist and kept saying: “Okay, Arnab, I will be on your show at 9 pm”. Before I lost my cool, I just said OK and ended the conversation.
Techgirl: So, this means you will never vote Congress?
Pramod Bhasin: I have only voted for one party in my life and that is CPM. Whenever I see Karat, it is like seeing a philosophical soul mate. A capitalist who is equally comfortable being a communist. A man who loves the challenge of being Top Dog and does not care if the CPM lives or dies.
Techgirl: Bye, Pramod (Whenever Pramod talks about politics he can ramble on for hours. So, a quick good night is best)
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