Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.
Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.
I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.
The phone rang. This ring tone was that I had selected for Pramod.
“Sare BPO’s se accha Genpact hamara, Ham Agent hai is ki, Ye Process hamara…”
Hearing the ring tone, I felt alive and perky. Pramod has this effect on women
Pramod Bhasin: Techgirl, why do people stop me wherever I go?
Techgirl: Because you are smart. You have money. You head India’s No. 1 BPO Genpact. Enough reason to have a fan following.
Pramod Bhasin: No, I mean at Airports. Is it because I have an Islamic sounding name?
Techgirl: Nope.
Pramod Bhasin: Is it because I have the same physical prowess as Akshay Kumay and can fight a few people and take over a plane?
Techgirl: You are kind of good looking. But more like Shahrukh than Akshay. What happened?
Pramod Bhasin: Well, I reached IG Airport, Delhi to take a Continental Airlines flight to America. Once inside the security zone, two armed guards approached me and said they wanted to do another security check. WTF? Why me? This always happens to me.
Techgirl: What happened then? Why a second security check at Delhi Airport?
Pramod Bhasin: I don’t know. But I lost my cool. I started shouting: “Frisk me Continental Airlines. Frisk me you fools. Why are you always harassing VVIPS?”
Techgirl: Not a good idea to shout at security officials. What happened next?
Pramod Bhasin: The security official asked me to spread out my hands. Then he started patting down my legs.
Security official looks up: “Versace pants Sir?”
Me: Yes
Security official gently touches my shirt: “Gucci, very sophisticated. You are very smart”
Me (embarrassed a bit): Yes
Security official: Please take off your shoes.
Me: Okay. Here are my shoes. Be careful as they are John Lobb shoes and each pair costs $1000.
Security official: I know they are made in Paris. (Picks the shoes and rubs his cheek against it). Nice. Nice. So soft. Just like Katrina Kaif’s cheek. So flexible, just like some politicians in Tamil Nadu.
Me: Can I go now? I have a plane to catch to New York.
Security official: (eyes all bright): Sir, do you work in the BPO Sector? Only BPO Agents can afford such nice clothes and shoes
Me: Yes, I work for Genpact.
Security official: Genpact! That is best BPO. Are you Team Leader or something?
Me: No, I am President and CEO
Security official: (very apologetically). So, sorry. Why did you not tell us you were the President? Continental has asked us not to frisk any President or ex-President. Please go. We frisked President Kalam and shit hit the fan.
Techgirl: Wow! That is quite an experience. What will you do now?
Pramod Bhasin: Currently, only President, Vice President, Chief Ministers, Chief Justice and a few other VVIPs are exempt from frisking. I will lobby my good friend and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to ensure even NASSCOM office bearers are added to the list.
Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.
I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.
The phone rang. This ring tone was that I had selected for Pramod.
“Sare BPO’s se accha Genpact hamara, Ham Agent hai is ki, Ye Process hamara…”
Hearing the ring tone, I felt alive and perky. Pramod has this effect on women
Pramod Bhasin: Techgirl, why do people stop me wherever I go?
Techgirl: Because you are smart. You have money. You head India’s No. 1 BPO Genpact. Enough reason to have a fan following.
Pramod Bhasin: No, I mean at Airports. Is it because I have an Islamic sounding name?
Techgirl: Nope.
Pramod Bhasin: Is it because I have the same physical prowess as Akshay Kumay and can fight a few people and take over a plane?
Techgirl: You are kind of good looking. But more like Shahrukh than Akshay. What happened?
Pramod Bhasin: Well, I reached IG Airport, Delhi to take a Continental Airlines flight to America. Once inside the security zone, two armed guards approached me and said they wanted to do another security check. WTF? Why me? This always happens to me.
Techgirl: What happened then? Why a second security check at Delhi Airport?
Pramod Bhasin: I don’t know. But I lost my cool. I started shouting: “Frisk me Continental Airlines. Frisk me you fools. Why are you always harassing VVIPS?”
Techgirl: Not a good idea to shout at security officials. What happened next?
Pramod Bhasin: The security official asked me to spread out my hands. Then he started patting down my legs.
Security official looks up: “Versace pants Sir?”
Me: Yes
Security official gently touches my shirt: “Gucci, very sophisticated. You are very smart”
Me (embarrassed a bit): Yes
Security official: Please take off your shoes.
Me: Okay. Here are my shoes. Be careful as they are John Lobb shoes and each pair costs $1000.
Security official: I know they are made in Paris. (Picks the shoes and rubs his cheek against it). Nice. Nice. So soft. Just like Katrina Kaif’s cheek. So flexible, just like some politicians in Tamil Nadu.
Me: Can I go now? I have a plane to catch to New York.
Security official: (eyes all bright): Sir, do you work in the BPO Sector? Only BPO Agents can afford such nice clothes and shoes
Me: Yes, I work for Genpact.
Security official: Genpact! That is best BPO. Are you Team Leader or something?
Me: No, I am President and CEO
Security official: (very apologetically). So, sorry. Why did you not tell us you were the President? Continental has asked us not to frisk any President or ex-President. Please go. We frisked President Kalam and shit hit the fan.
Techgirl: Wow! That is quite an experience. What will you do now?
Pramod Bhasin: Currently, only President, Vice President, Chief Ministers, Chief Justice and a few other VVIPs are exempt from frisking. I will lobby my good friend and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to ensure even NASSCOM office bearers are added to the list.
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LoLoL...I was rolling helpless in the aisles after reading this..