Midnight confessions of IT/BPO/KPO managers

Hello, my name is techgirl. My day job is writing about business and technology for one of India’s leading media houses. You might find it very hard to believe that sometimes I cannot write what is really happening in the Indian tech world. My Editor is ‘close friends’ with half the tech moguls in India. Our advertising department is even closer to these tech companies. So, we write only positive feel good stories about the Indian IT, BPO and KPO sectors. My Chief Reporter is a true believer who tells me that it is ‘disloyal’ to India to publish anything negative about India. Ms Chief Reporter feels that the sexual harassment case against Infosys was a conspiracy by America’s Silicon Valley to prevent more jobs outsourced to the best and brightest in Bangalore.

Sadly, this has resulted in senior managers and my close friends in TCS, Infosys, Genpact, Satyam etc not given a chance to tell Indians what they really feel. These CEO’s ring me at night and pour their heart out. I will use this blog to tell Indians what their bosses really feel. Sometimes, I am half asleep am not sure what they really want to say. But as an Indian journalist that has never stopped me giving the facts from my sleepy recollection of events.

I am still looking for sponsors. Trashgoss (aka Techgoss) has just bought my blog and will pay me to write satire. Suckers! After working in the tech media for many years, I am open to any sponsorship ‘opportunities’.

Early, August, 2009, Director Farah Khan made the comment ‘men are dogs but not faithful’ on bad doggie Salman Khan’s show ‘Dus Ka Dum’. A Chembur businessman ‘hurt’ on behalf of Indian men has filed a complaint with the Social Services Branch. (The YouTube video above has his interview and what Farah said on the TV show).

I agree with Farah that men are like dogs. Some are strong, protective like German Sheppard’s, some ugly but strong like boxers and some become cute Pomeranians after they get married. All depends on how we ‘she dogs’ treat them. Sadly, some will always be stray dogs.

For those who don’t know Farah Khan, she started as a choreographer for Bollywood hits like Love Story, Dilwale Dulhnaiya Le Jaayenge and even Monsoon Wedding. She directed and choreographed the super hit ‘Om Shanti Om’. Farah has got what you call a healthy ego – every now and then she says something publicly to be the centre of attraction. (Bit like the senior managers in the IT, BPO and KPO industry)

For some reason, NASSCOM which is the apex body of our IT/BPO sectors has taken umbrage at what Farah Khan said. They have issued the following press release to Indian media.

“
From the Offices of NASSCOM.

Time of issue: 11 am. (Because no one works after 1 pm)

It has been brought to our attention that Bollywood Director Farah Khan said: “Men are like dogs but they are not faithful’ on Salman Khan’s TV show.

NASSCOM would like to make it clear that if Farah Khan was referring to Salman Khan, she is right. Salman Khan has behaved like a dog sometimes. Katrina Kaif may not agree with NASSCOM, but we always tell the truth.

But we object if Farah Khan was referring to the men who work in India’s IT, BPO and KPO industry and are NASSCOM members.

NASSCOM would like to assure Farah Khan that the male IT, BPO and KPO CEOs, CFO’s and Directors are men of honesty, integrity and sexual loyalty. If this was 1940, each of these CEO’s would have joined Gandhiji is his celibate quest for freedom and higher values.

NASSCOM would like to assure Farah and we have personally checked the background of the male CEO’s who head our IT, BPO and KPO industries and NOT one of them has had an extra marital affair. All the men who head our biggest IT and BPO companies always ensure that there is another person in the room when they have to ‘counsel’ women in subordinate positions. No friendly pats and no ‘official’ trips out of station. Never.

NASSCOM would like to assure Farah that we have checked all the HR records and are very confident that no girl has been hired in our tech sector based on her looks. Starting from Team Leaders, Managers to CEO’s, these men have only hired women based on merit. Looks and what she was wearing have NEVER been a factor.

Every man in our industry has been trained to be gender sensitive and have ‘female friendly’ policies.

Sure, Infosys has been winning the Nasscom award for gender inclusion for the second consecutive year, but in reality it does not have any women in really senior position. We can assure you that Infosys is really trying hard. A few years back, Infosys was accused of protecting a senior executive who was sued for sexual harassment. NASSCOM has investigated and we can assure you this Infosys executive was only being ‘friendly’. We don’t know why Infosys ‘let him go’ because he was innocent.

Sure, most of our Public Relations departments are staffed by pretty, attractive women but that is only because they can do the job. It has nothing to do with the fact that most male tech journalists are men.

Sure, Neelam has been the only female who has made it to the top of one of our top 10 IT companies, but we are trying. BPO’s have been better having promoted women like Anju and Radhika to meaningful management roles. The NASSCOM heart is pure even if we are slow sometimes

NASSCOM asks all men in the IT/BPO industry to chant mantra: “Don’t look, don’t touch. Purity of mind leads of purity of work”

Any woman who calls men dogs has never worked in the outsourcing industry. We don’t have dogs, only cute puppies

Signed
NASSCOM on behalf of its male members.
(All female members were too busy to sign this. At least that’s what they told us)
“

After reading the above NASSCOM press release, I realized that even though NASSCOM is predominantly male, they do care for us women. And as I keep telling my girlfriends: “If men can be dogs, we can be bitches sometimes”.

Meow, Farah Khan. Back off.